Problem: Children are often upset when they move from one house to another.
Solution 1: Make clear to children exactly what to expect. “You are spending after school on Friday until Sunday night with me. On Sunday night, we will travel back to Dad’s house. He can’t wait to see you.”
Solution 2: Let the child communication with his/her other parent while at your house. “Would you like to give Mom a call to let her know how what we found on our walk?”
Solution 3: Consider having the transition happen after a natural break in the day. Mom drops child off at school in the morning and Dad picks him/her up after school for the evening/weekend.
Solution 4: Have a transition ritual.
At Lisa’s* house, her daughter Chelsea says good bye to the stuffed animals on her bed and is reminded “they’ll be waiting for you on the way back.” When Chelsea comes back on Sunday night, Lisa has re-arranged the stuffed animals. Chelsea brings her father in to see what new order the animals are in and then says goodbye.
At Mark’s house, his former wife Sarah and two sons come in for dessert on Sunday night when she drops them off. The parents and children talk about what happened over the weekend for an hour before Sarah leaves.
Solution 5: Jacob gives his eight year old daughter an envelope every time he drops her off with her mom. At bedtime that night, his daughter opens the envelope and reads his note which mentions when they are going to see each other again. This reminds her that she will see her dad again soon.
Solution 6: Often, it is best to have parent who has been with the children travel to the other parents’ house to can drop the children off. When Art drops his children off on Sunday night, he goes inside with his daughters, makes sure they are starting a new activity and then leaves. This is especially helpful for younger children.
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