Problem: You can’t be there every night to tug your child in.
Solution 1: Call your child just before bedtime. Tell him or her a brief story, ask for a thought about the day, say a prayer together, or talk about what you’re going to do when next together. Send your child off to bed with a loving exchange just before bedtime. Note: if you start a ritual like this, make sure you are constant about it. Don’t set expectations that you aren’t able to follow through on. If you can only do it once a week, set that expectation when you start.
Solution 2: Mark and his son Dirk exchanged journals every week. When they were apart, Mark wrote a thought every night in his journal for his son. Dirk wrote a short note to his father in his journal. When they next saw each other, they switched books. When apart, Dirk would read a thought from his father each night and then write something back. Mark did the same in his son’s journal. This kept father and son close to each other every day.
Solution 3: Susan called her son every evening and would give him a hug over the phone. She told him to imagine the hug “my arms are all around you and I’m holding so tight” and asked him if he could feel it.
Solution 4: Have a similar ritual that you and your children do each night. When Cheryl was apart from her daughters during the summer, she would tell them to look at the North Star every night at 9:00 and say a wish. Cheryl did the same. The daughter were comforted that every night they were sharing wishes in the same way as their mother. This started when the girls were six and eight but continued through high school.
Solution 5: Consider skyping or texting each other just before bed. You can write something as simple as “syla” (see you later alligator) and your child responding “awac” (after a while crocodile). Better yet, let your child come up with his or her own secret code.
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